A must-read book for any hard working, horse loving woman who has risen above family conflict & secrets, life's hard knocks - and built a future abundant in love and humor, aided by the healing bond of horses.
Stable Relation by Anna Blake.
Reposted from:
http://annablakeblog.com/2015/07/03/the-thing-about-horses-and-healing-a-memoir/
We
see them from the road and use phones to take photos. We keep a legal
distance but most of us have seen neglected horses and reported them to
authorities… or been haunted, wishing we had.
The photos are long distance and slightly
out of focus, just like this one. It’s easy to see ribs showing and
they might be visually lame to the eye. You know the horse is in
trouble.
So what’s with the pudgy bay in a fly mask? Consider it his photo from the Witness Protection Program.
If you don’t recognize him, this is Vinnie, from
Ruby Ranch Horse Rescue,
here for evaluation. I like this photo of him, blurriness and all,
grazing with a fly mask with one ear torn off. It’s hard to see but
there’s a bird perched on those pointy withers of his. Oh, and it’s hard
to see his ribs now, too. This is his “after” picture; I first wrote
about Vinnie (
story here) and readers have asked for an update.
Vinnie’s swell. He is more socially
interactive now. It took over a week, but he started lying down in the
sun eventually. We weren’t sure he could. He’s up to date with vaccines
and he’s received a series of Pentosan injections. He stands quietly
while I give them; they’ve been nothing short of a miracle for Vinnie.
Now he gallops for fun; he comes at a run when I call him in. His stride
is wildly long and joyous.
When he arrived it was just the opposite.
And we still doubt he will be ride-able with an old injury that means
his hind end looks like an egg beater from time to time. But his heart
is big and full, he loves being scratched, and it looks like he is
headed to foster later this month and hopefully a forever home soon.
Yay, Vinnie.
It’s good news, isn’t it? We love these
stories and part of it is selfish. Vinnie heals us all a little bit when
we hear about him. It’s the crazy thing about horses…
I’ve had a couple of occasions when it
was my job to ask people for money for horse advocacy and rescue. I
don’t play fair; I ask the tough question first:
“How many of you have been rescued by a horse?”
Then I watch. Invariably most hands
quickly go up, with easy smiles and some laughter. Some of us were
rescued from being cosmetic zombies, tech junkies, or victims of
fashion. We’re saved from boredom and complacency. We use horses as an
excuse to be outside in the sun instead of cleaning the house. Each of
us has a way of describing that irresistible smell that’s part sweat,
part fly spray, and part dream-come-true.
But as I look around the group, some jaws
are set and their eyes seem distant, hidden under furrowed brows. They
straighten their shoulders a bit but there is no smile. They raise their
hands resolutely and hold them high and still–as if testifying, as if
standing to be counted. For them, rescue is a life-and-death personal
issue. I recognize these committed hands because I raise mine the exact
same way. In that moment we lose our humor because the depth of
gratitude we feel toward horses is immense. We literally owe our
presence in the world to the memory of some old horse.
About then my voice seizes up. I don’t
want this to be about me because there are so many others with the same
experience. I’m common in this group. So I continue to ask for money and
notice quite a few of us have something in our eye. We act like its
dust because we’ve developed some pride, but we’re fooling no one.
And so, when we see a photo of Vinnie
like this, we see ourselves, even as we celebrate him. That’s how rescue
works–it’s contagious. It doesn’t matter who does it first, horse or
human, but it starts in a small, seemingly insignificant way and
eventually radiates out in all directions. In the beginning, it’s rough.
Horses reflect our fear and hurt, but if we ride it out, smelling mane
and trying to forge a language with a horse, until in the end, we
reflect their confidence. We become good lead mares in our own lives.
Riding is a school of humility and selflessness, its practice if it is done well, tends to make better Human Beings –Nuno Oliveira
We started young. Lots of us came to
positive horsemanship because of rough handling as children. We learned
firsthand that violent dominance would never build trust, and lots of us
escaped to the barn. Horses were the safe haven we found there. They
spoke the language we hoped to hear in our homes.
There’s a barn joke that horses are
cheaper than therapy. I have done the research and it isn’t actually
true. But the more time we spend with horses, the more we heal. As we
move forward with our horses, it gets easier to let go of fear in our
human lives and forgive ourselves of our pasts. For some of us, being
with a horse is our first taste of honesty. It works like church because
even the angriest atheist can see the divinity in a horse. They’re
undeniable miracles and some of it rubs off on us. Like salvation.
The thing about horses rescuing us is
that it works impersonally, just like gravity, healing each of us
whether we think we need it or not. We just say yes and whether we need a
healing from helmet hair or total abandonment in the world, horses will
carry us through it. When the day comes that we realize the debt we owe
to horses, we work to do better for them. We learn to ride more kindly
and communicate more clearly. We discover we have compassion to spare,
so we give back by helping horses.
For some of us, horses are just a
“hobby”, an overwhelming passion that drives our lifestyle, finances,
and everyday choices and activities. It’s like having a combination
gambling addiction and an obsessive-compulsive disorder, that we proudly
brag about, while spending every spare moment, year after year, in the
company of horses.
And then for a lot of us, it’s something bigger than that.
Stable Relation:
I’ve written a memoir about the farm I grew up on, the farm I have now,
and the horse that carried me in between. I didn’t write it because I
think I am so very unique or important; indeed my experience is more
common than it should be. I wrote it for all of us who share the
experience of being healed by the animals in our lives.
Stable Relation is available now on Amazon (
book link here) and soon everywhere else, in paperback and eBook. With a big gratitude-scratch to my Grandfather Horse, who gave me my voice.
Anna Blake, Infinity Farm.