Sunday, June 27, 2010

A Big Decision & Change

I've had to make a difficult decision, but I think it is for the best.

I decided Marley needs a stronger, more confident owner than me. He is now owned by a professional trainer with 30+ years experience training carriage horses, including 6-horse hitches. He's gone to the best home he could possibly have, but I cried buckets on the night his new owner picked him up.

I feel like I failed Marley, but he is in better hands now and will get the regular and consistent work he needs. He is a very strong and willful hunky chunky pony who needs to be worked often or he gets too full of himself, inviting past vices to rise to the surface. With my increasing work load at my job, I have less time this summer than I had last year to devote to two horses that need a lot of training and it was beginning to show in Marley's behavior, leading up to the bucking incident (even though it was triggered by fright and not obstinacy). That incident really shook my confidence in my ability to ride or drive Marley.

I miss Marley. I know Misty misses him too.

I worry about Misty being lonely during this transition phase, but she isn't acting nutty or afraid. She is turning to me for attention now and that could be beneficial for both of us. She nickers loudly as soon as she sees me and follows me around like a puppy dog.

I will be focusing more on Misty, working with a professional instructor to continue her training. She still needs a companion and I need a confidence builder. So I'm looking for another horse to become Misty's new barn buddy; the kind of horse I should have bought in the first place - a gentle, seasoned, consistent, bombproof trail horse with no vices.

20 comments:

  1. It really does seem like the right decision. I've made that call myself. I don't know why we think we'll find the right horse immediately when it takes us considerable time to find all the other "rights" in our life - the right spouse, the right job, the right doctor...

    A better horse match is out there. I just know it.

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  2. Those decisions are very hard, but it sounds like you did the right thing. You did very well by him, and that's what our horses need us to do. This now frees you to look forward - good luck on your search!

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  3. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, but in the end I think you made the right decision for Marley and you. I hope you find the perfect companion for Misty and you soon. Good luck in your search.

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  4. I am sure you miss your buddy, but it really does sound like you made the right decision and that Marley has a wonderful new home where he can really flourish. You gave him an opportunity for a great start with training and that sets him up for a great future!

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  5. That IS a hard decision, but I admire you for making it. Sounds like he found a real good home--you did him a favor there!

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  6. It is a wise horseman who can make a qualified decision based on what a specific horse may need; I think you are very wise.

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  7. I agree with everyone of course. Sounds like Marley has a great new home, and you made the right choice for you. I bet this will really strengthen your bond now with Misty as well. Maybe Misty needs a goat or a donkey? Good excuse to get something super cute and fun ;)

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  8. Oh, Golden Pony Girl has such a great idea. I know you would love to have a donkey - but I also know that we have silly rules in our community that won't allow that....BUT....how 'bout a mini?!! Wouldn't Misty and 'Minnie' look cute together?!

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  9. Oh, I can imagine that would have been a difficult decision. Good for you for being strong enough to make it. You should feel proud that you were able to do this for Marley and yourself. I'm sure you'll miss him like crazy for a long time, that's normal. But life is short. You took care of him by finding a good home, and took care of yourself by recognizing what you wanted/needed. You did good.

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  10. Sorry you had to make such a hard decision but it does sound like the right one for both of you. Good luck on finding a new buddy for both you and Misty.

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  11. It takes a lot of courage to accept what is not right, and then make hard decisions in order for things to get better. I'm sure you'll miss many things about him, and others not so much. Sounds like you found a good match for Marley. Will you be able to get an occasional update on how he is doing? Happy searching while you find a good match for you :)

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  12. Sounds like Marley's new home is perfect. Hugs to you and Misty now!

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  13. Thanks for all of your supportive comments. I do miss the little brute, but Misty and I are having fun hanging out together. She has been walking to the mailbox with me every day and I give her lots of back scritches. And I have to admit, I do like scooping half as much manure every day. And there is the promise of finding a 2nd horse who will be a better match. I just need to be careful this time to get the entire history from people who know the horse well. And now I know my own limitations better. It's been a little surprising to find I didn't pick up my riding skills and confidence where I left them back in my 20s.

    I would love to get a donkey, but they don't allow it in our neighborhood. A goat would be fun too. Can't have goats either, I'm afraid. Silly rules for a rural neighborhood. Can't even have chickens. I could probably get away with a duck if I hid it in the bathtub.

    I will probably hear how Marley is doing from time to time. It will be awhile before I can inquire about him though. I have to distance myself.

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  14. I'm sorry you had to make such a difficult decision, but it does sound like it is for the best for both you and Marley.

    As you've discovered your bond with Misty will grow and deepen now.

    ~Jeni

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  15. I am sorry, Once Upon!

    Even if it was a tough decision, it was probably the right one.
    If Marley has some previous experiences that might surface from time to time, that fact will be in the back of your head and will probably spoil your rides even if he does behave.
    It sounds like you have found a very good home for him.
    I'm sorry for you and for Misty though, and I will miss your stories and photos of him too.
    I hope you'll find a new companion soon.

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  16. That must have been a very difficult decision! But sounds like Marley has found a wonderful home.
    Good luck in your search for a new horse!

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  17. I know how it feels to sell one you love, as I sold my horse in March after six years together, but he was just so spooky, and nothing I tried changed him. I know I have done the right thing, even though it was painful, and I am fortunate that hubby gave me his horse! Drop by my blog some time, you'll be very welcome.

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  18. It is a very difficult decision to make, but it sounds like you made the best one. The pain will ease over time.

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  19. I'm sorry, this is a hard time but you did the right thing, as everyone else has said. You didn't fail Marley, you made a loving decision that was best for you and for him. I know that's a difficult concept to grasp when you are in mourning, but I hope in time you will believe it.

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  20. Always a hard decision to make, but we probably 'love' our horses much more than they do us! Why won't you be allowed to keep a donkey? That might have been an ideal solution.

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